Happy Thanksgiving
George: “A car was brought in that smelled so horrible, we decided to call the cops. We thought there might be a dead body in it. Metro’s finest pulled up, guns drawn, and popped the trunk. Inside was a decomposing turkey. (Eventually we learned that the driver had gone straight to the casino from the hospital, where he’d been for three weeks following an accident. He’d forgotten to unpack his groceries. And because he’d had facial surgery, his sense of smell was temporarily gone. (Lucky him!)” 

One Way to Ensure Prompt Service
Phil: “These two girls came out of a club during graveyard shift. Each wanted her car first. One girl put five dollars on the table; the other put down $10. The valet looked back at the first girl, who then put down $20. The valet looked at the second girl, who then dropped her top! The first girl said, ‘OK, OK, bring her car up first.’” 

Best Tip Ever
George: “It was 2002, a few nights before Super Bowl XXXVI. You remember that Super Bowl; the Patriots and the Rams were playing. Tom Brady had just started and was sort of an unknown quantity. So, the Patriots were something like 14-point underdogs. It turned out to be an amazing game, really exciting, the first one in Super Bowl history that was won on the final play. Anyway, a couple of nights before the game, I was working and this guy stumbled out, kinda drunk, and I helped him into a cab. He apologized that he didn’t have any cash and stuffed a ticket into my hand. I didn’t think much of it. Spent the weekend quietly at home and watched the Super Bowl with friends. A few days later, I saw the ticket on my dresser and looked at it more carefully. It was a long-shot money-line bet. On the Superbowl. On the Patriots. Which meant that little piece of paper was worth $2,600.”